"YES, I'M IN A LIMO!"

I haven't picked up this mother axe in awhile so let's see if I can at least bust out a few power chords:

So! I'm at day sixty-one (61) and have been noticing lots of changes and whathaveyou. For one thing, several people I never met have been coming up to me and saying, "Hey, youse. You're lookin good. I'se remember when youse came in here, youse was lookin' kinda scrappy. What with your eyes all smashed and red, your neck all puffy, your face pale and gross. Now you look good." Nice to know. I've lost twenty pounds in sobriety, which means I weigh less now than when I graduated high school in the 1990's. I no longer have to carry myself in a wheelbarrel, and when wearing tank tops outdoors I'm no longer insecure about my flubber and hairy shoulders (now I'm only insecure about my hairy shoulders).

However, it's not all narcissism and treats. No, for the past few days I've been feeling something which I can only call "overstimulated." I try to have a conversation and I'm barely aware of what I'm saying. I show up for work and can't recall how I got there. I get home from Williamsburg and realize I forgot to feel a sense of smug superiority over the ed hardy tshirted swarm. What gives? What I think is happening is my brain (that gooey pile of neurons and memories up there) is reorienting itself to a world without the neurotransmitters' astroglide of pabst.

Before I started this blog, I wanted to start a blog talking about how much better I am than AA literature. Anyone who is in AA knows of the literature's horrendous language:
1. It's wrechedly outdated. Frequent mentions of bootleggers (!!), the idea that man may one day walk on the moon, and sentences to the effect of "sometimes, even women become alcoholics!" which leads to
2. It's full of sexist language. "God as we understood Him," which leads to
3. The religious ballyhoo is written in King James Bible English." So many occurances of Thou and Thy and Thee. Puts this creepy Protestant hue all over the whole affair, voiding, a bit, the whole "God as we understood Him," which leads to
4. The literature suffers from being written by committee. Please observe this clunker of a sentence, which is part of every meeting's incantation: "If you want what we have and are willing to go to any lengths to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps." Where do I begin with this steaming pile of verbal violence? I don't claim to be William Saffire Junior, or even literate enough to write speeches for Sarah Palin. Then again, I can count the number of people who read this blog on one finger, and it's read maybe once, not billions of times. And it's not meant to be read aloud. Ooof!

Okay, I got that off my hairy chest. Despite all that, I can't recommend the literature enough. Reading it with a sponsor dulls the verbal burrs.

Since this post is boring, I'll tell a nice illustrative story:

I went to my company's factory in NJ today to do some work on blah blah blah. Anyway I tell the receptionist to call me a car to get to the train station to go back to NY. A stretch limosuine drives up. This can't possibly be my car, I says. Sure enough, I notice the car is from 1985 at the latest. I ask the driver, who appeared to be lacking in hygene, teeth, and knowledge of when to stop eating, told me it's the same rate as a normal car. I get in the back, and, a stretch limo? More like a stench limo! I count fifteen (!!!!!) pine tree air fresheners hanging from those ceiling hook things like they were sets of janitor's keys. The floor is covered with a rug from the dollar store. The cabinets are smashed and splintered. We drive under a rainbow to the train station. I get on the train and call the receptionist and yell to never call that car company again. Yup, I was that guy on the train: a white guy yelling about work into a cell phone. Sorry America.

The point of this story is, in sobriety, all these things seem to happen that make a loud sucking sound where sense should be. There was something horrendous and wonderful about that car ride that would have totally escaped me while not sober, with a healing brain.

Also, cats like me more now that I'm sober.