this really happened

Picture this: Maxie goes outside of his office to have a cigarette and what does he see in the park accross the street? a squirrel. The squirrels in this park are insanely smart. I once saw a squirrel eating a muffin wrapper whilst perched on a trashcan. Nothing wacky about that, but this squirrel was perched in such a way that the crumbs deliberately fell to the ground to be gobbled up by birds.

Today, a squirrel climbed up a tree and sat on a branch three feet from my face. He looked at me and

he

unwrapped

the

LOLLYPOP IN HIS MOUTH

...

THEN HE BIT OFF THE STICK

...

AND ATE THE LOLLY AS IF IT WAS AN ACORN.

Now, I didn't relate this to anyone, except Twitter followers and fellow alky's. Twitter because nobody reads those things anyway, and alky's because it was today's manifestation of my higher power's will for me.

Let me back up. As you know, my personal god is a fancy gay man. He doesn't respond well to prayers filled with thy and thou and however King James Bible translators talked in 1604. My god responds to cattiness, passive-aggressiveness, and bluntness. Therefore, I start each day with the slightly passive-aggressive prayer, "god, please show me your will for me today, and make it obvious." Today was mostly slow, not much happening, both mentally and existentially. Tired from moving and not sleeping and eating well. I saw this amazing sight and literally blurted out, "Really, god? This is your will for me today? Hm."

The point is, and I only found this out later when I shared this pointless story with other recovering boozhounds, that I am on day ten (I slipped, ok?) and in the beginning sobriety feels like treading water. Not much going on...moods mostly shifting between irritation and boredom....impatience...a general blandness. I grumped about my boredom to alcoholics and they all said that it was exactly how I'm supposed to feel, that I'm doing fine. Eventually, to carry the water metaphor again, I may feel like I'm floating aimlessly but soon I'll be properly moored somewhere.

So if you're too impatient to read the above, dig this: if you hurt or feel nothing and it's annoying when you first stop drinking, stick with it, and it'll catch when you least expect it.

P.S. This has nothing to do with anything, but I propose a new mascot for AA:

Alcoholics Anony-mouse: